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Corona quarantine diary
Initiator des Themas: Mervyn Henderson

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
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Explanation Mar 24

At the request of just about nobody at all, I feel I should explain. What I think happened with Gerard's post was this:

I know enough about moderator procedure to know what happens when you get dissed. I have had my bottom spanked a few times by moderators of threads (in the figurative sense, naturellement, though not au naturel). What comes up is a greyed-out post saying "You have been a naughty boy/girl - please edit" or "You naughty boy/girl - your naughtiness has not been approv
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At the request of just about nobody at all, I feel I should explain. What I think happened with Gerard's post was this:

I know enough about moderator procedure to know what happens when you get dissed. I have had my bottom spanked a few times by moderators of threads (in the figurative sense, naturellement, though not au naturel). What comes up is a greyed-out post saying "You have been a naughty boy/girl - please edit" or "You naughty boy/girl - your naughtiness has not been approved". So I think that's what happened to Gerard, because this is what happens to naughty boys and girls. They are threatened with a good spanking.

He posted a few days ago, but the moderator put him in potential bottom-spanking mode pending vetting, and he was greyed out until today. As the OP on this thread, today I got the usual OP notification of a post made on my thread, hence my "prediction", not knowing that Gerard had just been posted, and it didn't occur to me to look back through the posts, BUT he would have been posted with a time stamp for the day he tried to post, among all the other posts that day. I've had a look at page 79, and I see it there now, but I don't remember any post by Gerard on that day. The same thing used to happen to another much-vetted poster who used a lot of smilies, as I remember.

Maybe Gerard will confirm all this. Or the moderator. Or maybe he won't and/or she won't.

...

This does not necessarily impair my prediction for the Euromillions numbers on Friday. I will give you a clue: the five numbers will definitely range between 1 and 50, and the two star numbers will be between 1 and 12. I am not a betting man myself but, believe me, this is a cert, and so I do not feel it is excessive to expect a taste of somebody's winnings ...



[Edited at 2021-03-24 19:15 GMT]

[Edited at 2021-03-24 19:15 GMT]

[Edited at 2021-03-24 20:23 GMT]
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Matthias Brombach
Chris S
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Gerard Barry
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Why the sarcasm? Mar 24

Mervyn Henderson wrote:

I discovered this afternoon that I have certain powers. I have been looking into the future ... yes, I can see a man ... a man with the initials ... G ... G something, yes, G .... B, GB, yes, in Germany, too, will be along shortly on this very thread to tell us why people should not bother with vaccines. You mark my words. It shall come to pass ...


Why the sarcasm? Everyone has to decide for themselves whether to take the vaccine (although we are all of course being shamelessly being put under pressure to take it) but as far as I'm concerned any young healthy person who's gagging for the vaccine would want their head examined as we all know that the chances of a young, healthy person getting seriously ill from corona are pretty slim. Have you had the vaccine yourself? It would be nice if you and some of the other posters on this site could engage in a real way rather than posting inane, sarcastic nonsense all the time.


 

Matthias Brombach  Identity Verified
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I prepared an answer for ... Mar 24

Mervyn Henderson wrote:

I've had a look at page 79, and I see it there now, but I don't remember any post by Gerard on that day.
... that page 79, but I erased it by error and you know what: I'm happy about that, because this is not Fxxxbook. Gerard, go on, I'm sure, you are in good companionship there, from where you post your 🌻🌹💐🌈.


[Bearbeitet am 2021-03-24 20:40 GMT]


Chris S
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Be amazed Mar 24

Gerard Barry wrote:

Isn't it amazing that, despite the fact that the corona vaccines were developed in record time and that we know that they may have side-effects, people - even young, healthy people - are voluntarily choosing to have the vaccination? I really don't understand how people can allow themselves to be pressurised by government and media into having something injected into their body when they don't know what consequences it might have for them. The chances of a young healthy person getting really ill from corona are actually quite slim. I for one am in no rush to get "The Vaccine".

Maybe they are having it so they don’t spread it to the old and infirm? Unselfish bastards that they are.



[Edited at 2021-03-24 21:09 GMT]


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Matthias Brombach
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Beatriz Ramírez de Haro
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Mervyn Henderson
 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
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Those vaccines Mar 25

I, too (or should that be "I for two"), think the vaccine fast track is well dodgy, but it might not be so suspect, really. How long does it take you to make a ham sandwich? ...

You cut two slices of bread from a loaf, or a baguette, and you might even butter them too - although after years here, the last time I saw someone doing that in Ireland, I thought "Now why would anyone put butter in a sandwich?", but then I did it myself all those years ago - or you might put some olive oil
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I, too (or should that be "I for two"), think the vaccine fast track is well dodgy, but it might not be so suspect, really. How long does it take you to make a ham sandwich? ...

You cut two slices of bread from a loaf, or a baguette, and you might even butter them too - although after years here, the last time I saw someone doing that in Ireland, I thought "Now why would anyone put butter in a sandwich?", but then I did it myself all those years ago - or you might put some olive oil on it, or some Colman's mustard, or rub the bread with garlic and tomato like the Catalans' "pa i tomàquet" - hope I've got the written accent right there, because I was never sure about accents in Catalan - and you put in the ham, and that's it. Maybe two minutes?

Or you could just use ready-sliced bread instead of cutting two slices from a loaf or a baguette (some of you may be intrigued to learn that the most popular brand of ready-sliced bread here is called "Bimbo"), you forget about the additions, and you just put the ham between them. Maybe thirty seconds?

So maybe the vaccine's fast track simply cut out all the floritures and flaffing around, and stuck to the main business.

And another point. How can we be sure about anything that enters our bodies? When you eat any kind of vegetable you bought at the market because it's fresh produce, much cheaper and much more ecological, supposedly, how do you know what they sprayed or didn't spray on it? Because they told you they did, or didn't? How do you know Mr Kipling didn't personally hawk in every one of his "exceedingly good cakes" just for fun? Do you never take an aspirin or a headache pill because you have no kit to analyse their composition? Do you never drink tap water because you don't know what they do to the water before it gets to your tap? I don't think so.

Every day we trust other people with this kind of thing, people we have never met, and never will, like doctors and pharmacists. And, as Chris S once asked you a while ago - and got no reply - what's the alternative? What's your solution? Do you have one? No? I thought not. It's easy to carp. Dead easy.

[Edited at 2021-03-25 06:09 GMT]

[Edited at 2021-03-25 06:11 GMT]

[Edited at 2021-03-25 06:12 GMT]

[Edited at 2021-03-25 06:13 GMT]
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Matthias Brombach
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Matthias Brombach  Identity Verified
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Local time: 10:01
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How do I know ... Mar 25

Mervyn Henderson wrote:


And another point. How can we be sure about anything that enters our bodies? When you eat any kind of vegetable you bought at the market because it's fresh produce, much cheaper and much more ecological, supposedly, how do you know what they sprayed or didn't spray on it? Because they told you they did, or didn't? How do you know Mr Kipling didn't personally hawk in every one of his "exceedingly good cakes" just for fun? Do you never take an aspirin or a headache pill because you have no kit to analyse their composition? Do you never drink tap water because you don't know what they do to the water before it gets to your tap? I don't think so.

Every day we trust other people with this kind of thing, people we have never met, and never will, like doctors and pharmacists. And, as Chris S once asked you a while ago - and got no reply - what's the alternative? What's your solution? Do you have one? No? I thought not. It's easy to carp. Dead easy.


... is by an institution called free journalism, done by journalists who underwent proper training and who work for an institution called "free press" free societies are proud of. Tap water may be spoiled sometimes somewhere, fruits on a market rotten and the one or other politician corrupt: Sooner or later they find it out and supply evidence to prove it. They also find out and can prove it, that "lateral thinking people" of the Querdenker-movement in Germany have no problems cooperating with nazis or that they are nazis by themselves.

[Bearbeitet am 2021-03-25 07:37 GMT]


Mervyn Henderson
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Gerard Barry
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So no worries at all then? Mar 25

Chris S wrote:

Gerard Barry wrote:

Isn't it amazing that, despite the fact that the corona vaccines were developed in record time and that we know that they may have side-effects, people - even young, healthy people - are voluntarily choosing to have the vaccination? I really don't understand how people can allow themselves to be pressurised by government and media into having something injected into their body when they don't know what consequences it might have for them. The chances of a young healthy person getting really ill from corona are actually quite slim. I for one am in no rush to get "The Vaccine".

Maybe they are having it so they don’t spread it to the old and infirm? Unselfish bastards that they are.



[Edited at 2021-03-24 21:09 GMT]


Well, seeing as almost all of the older people are taking the vaccine themselves, that argument hardly holds up.

So you really have no worries at all about taking a vaccine that has been developed at record-breaking speed and you find the whole "take the vaccine and you'll get your freedoms back" deal completely acceptable?

As regards older people: I thought the likes of you despised older British people for having the temerity to vote for Brexit? Or have you forgiven them for that?


 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
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More Germany Mar 25

Poor Angie had to take a lot of stick over her mistake in preparing Germany for what, a week of lockdown, was it, and then having to back down to only the statutory holidays. What amazed me was that she was decent enough to apologise for her faux pas, though.

Over here politicians always blame other politicians. Here the opposition treads on a dog turd, and blames the government for its laxness with dogs and dog owners. The government says it is working tirelessly to provide turdle
... See more
Poor Angie had to take a lot of stick over her mistake in preparing Germany for what, a week of lockdown, was it, and then having to back down to only the statutory holidays. What amazed me was that she was decent enough to apologise for her faux pas, though.

Over here politicians always blame other politicians. Here the opposition treads on a dog turd, and blames the government for its laxness with dogs and dog owners. The government says it is working tirelessly to provide turdless streets for one and all, unlike the opposition, well known for its cavalier attitude to dog turds during its last term in office, and that in any case the opposition should look where it's going instead of mouthing off. Catalan and Basque politicians tread on dog turds, and they say that this is the inevitable result of repression by the government and their unruly Spanish dogs, and that if they really have to tread on a turd at all, it should enjoy full legal and political recognition as a Catalan turd or a Basque turd produced in Catalonia or Euskadi by fully independent dogs.
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Matthias Brombach  Identity Verified
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I'm not sure whether it ... Mar 25

Mervyn Henderson wrote:

Poor Angie had to take a lot of stick over her mistake in preparing Germany for what, a week of lockdown, was it, and then having to back down to only the statutory holidays. What amazed me was that she was decent enough to apologise for her faux pas, though.

... really would have been a mistake to toughen the lockdown, on a (anti-)virological point of view, but she put it back because of all the legal consequences it had to close from next week Thursday until Tuesday after Eastern. Austria does it and let's not forget that these plans still aim to prevent the hospitals from being overloaded.


Mervyn Henderson
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Mistake? Mar 25

Matthias - well, obviously I don't have enough information on that, so I can't express an opinion like you and all Germans can, but what I mean is that she must have thought she'd screwed up enough to apologise.

I heard that it wasn't so much that she thought it was such a bad idea, like you said, but more a question of logistics and time, i.e. how to actually implement a more stringent régime of restrictions with so little prior notice.


Matthias Brombach
 

Gerard Barry
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Local time: 10:01
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I beg your pardon Mar 25

Matthias Brombach wrote:

They also find out and can prove it, that "lateral thinking people" of the Querdenker-movement in Germany have no problems cooperating with nazis or that they are nazis by themselves.

[Bearbeitet am 2021-03-25 07:37 GMT]


Isn't it strange how anyone who criticises the government in Germany runs the risk of being called a "Nazi"? And where is your "proof" that the Querdenker - who I support - are "Nazis"? The Querdenker are freedom-loving people who are worried about the restrictions of people's freedoms in response to the coronavirus and I will not have you calling us "Nazis" on a public forum like this. Might I remind you in this regard that you're the German here, not me.


 

Mervyn Henderson  Identity Verified
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Be strong, Luis Mar 25

A very famous phrase over here. That’s what former Spanish PM Mariano Rajoy said to PP party treasurer Luis Bárcenas a few years ago in an SMS, “Be strong, Luis”, as Luis was about to be hung out to dry by the courts for imaginative accounting, and is still in prison for it.

Luis, promptly abandoned by all those party bigwigs he claims he gave big fat envelopes to stuffed with cash from sources various, mostly big business, and branded as a criminal by the bigwigs too, doesn
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A very famous phrase over here. That’s what former Spanish PM Mariano Rajoy said to PP party treasurer Luis Bárcenas a few years ago in an SMS, “Be strong, Luis”, as Luis was about to be hung out to dry by the courts for imaginative accounting, and is still in prison for it.

Luis, promptly abandoned by all those party bigwigs he claims he gave big fat envelopes to stuffed with cash from sources various, mostly big business, and branded as a criminal by the bigwigs too, doesn’t want to take the fall alone, of course, why would he, why would anyone, so he’s telling tales.

But the pally “Be strong, Luis” thing has come back to haunt Rajoy. Yesterday, as a witness in the proceedings, he explained the apparent palliness by saying that he simply felt the treasurer needed “a little understanding” at the time, and hence his message. Yeah, right.

Needless to say, Mariano denied even having heard of the party’s “B” accounts, and that he was certainly not the “M.R.” scrawled in Luis’s books, as did his mentor and also former PM José María Aznar, another witness, saying that “J.M.” must be somebody else, for God's sake. Well, there are any amount of José Marías in Spain, of course. But, as is his wont, José María was much more abrupt and arrogant in his answers, until he was told to watch it by the judge.

...

Elsewhere in Spanish politics … how many lives does a cat have? Nine, right? But not in Spain. Spanish moggies only have seven. You may have heard of Spanish actor Javier Cámara. In fact, I’m sure you have, because he’s all over the place now. But it was not always thus. Javier had to start somewhere, and one of his starts, which he can’t be so proud of now, was in a dismal TV comedy series here called “Siete Vidas” around 1999/noughties. He starred, for want of a better word, opposite sexy, handsome Toni Cantó. The plot was that the latter had just woken up from an 18-year coma, and found he had to adapt to new circumstances, with various comic encounters and happenings inbetween, a bit like “Goodbye Lenin” without the communism backdrop, but with a live studio audience to provide laughter even when it wasn’t really very funny at all.

But that’s enough of that. Let’s get to the point, and the point is that the sexy, handsome Sr. Cantó soon became disenchanted with acting, and got the urge to right Spain’s wrongs by getting voted in as MP with a very small party led by a very loud-mouthed and opinionated woman, which she called Union for Progress and Democracy (yes, I know), who had herself become disenchanted with Spain’s socialist party, and had got the urge to right Spain’s wrongs by setting up her own little pink party (well, their colour was pink, but they weren't pinkos in the strict sense of the term).

But after a while Toni became disenchanted with her too, and got the urge to right Spain’s wrongs by switching to the Ciudadanos party, but now he (along with a lot of Spaniards) has become, yes, disenchanted with them in turn, and has got the urge to etc. ….. by going over to the PP. That’s a lot of disenchantment, and a barrelful of urges, isn’t it? How many lives has Toni Cantó had in his real life so far? I make it four, but there are plenty of other parties he could go, so don’t rule out the socialists. That’s show business. And the show must go on.


[Edited at 2021-03-25 18:39 GMT]

[Edited at 2021-03-25 18:52 GMT]
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Hawking Mar 25

Mervyn Henderson wrote:
How do you know Mr Kipling didn't personally hawk in every one of his "exceedingly good cakes" just for fun?

I have to say that is one of my most favouritest lines of yours ever in the history of yet.

It does, however, require an understanding of the meaning of "hawk", which is not guaranteed among your international (albeit talented and cosmopolitan) audience, and that brings two things to mind:

1.
I grew up on out-of-date pork pies and Mr Kipling cakes from my stepfather's shop (and like corporal punishment and active neglect of health and safety, they didn't do me no harm) (it was the 80s after all), and I can confirm that the gross, greenish, glutinous gel inside Mr Kipling's apple pies is most certainly not of orchard origin and was very possibly hawked up (or worse) by Rudyard's team of underaged elves before being rolled in half an EU sugar mountain per mouthful-sized pie.

(Mr Kipling, by the way, for anyone wondering, was a celebrated English poet, albeit now part-cancelled for being an overt racist, and oddly also founder of a Shite Food brand rather like the venerable Dr Oetker and the late, great Colonel Sanders.)

2.
You've inadvertently solved a mystery that has bugged me for whole seconds over the years. My grandparents were very lovely to me but bloody horrid to the rest of the world (especially immigrants) and on their front gate was the lovingly home-made sign: "No junk mail, no canvassers, no hawkers".

Now nobody wants all that advertising, and nobody wants politicians begging for your vote. But why hawkers? Why would so many people want to gob greenies onto their crazy paving? Were there that many punks in sleepy, suburban Isleworth? And why did they think people of that disposition would be likely to heed their little notice rather than just lob a brick through the window as well?

So I googled it and found out hawkers are/were basically salesmen/women/people. Well I never. Mystery solved. Thanks, Mervyn. I can die happy.

(All that about hawking and not one mention of Stephen and the origin of the universe? I guess I must just have better things to do...)


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Hawklike Mar 26

Chris, every so often you wind up and give it the max, don't you? I don't know whether you were on a high from the mountain biking or Welsh weed, but it scrubs up great on paper. And you're obviously disturbed by your past, but then who isn't? A great read!!!!

I must say I hadn't actually thought about the other meanings of "hawk", and still less about Stephen Hawking! ...

-I say, who's that man spluttering over there, Elaine?
-That man? Oh, that's just my Stephe
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Chris, every so often you wind up and give it the max, don't you? I don't know whether you were on a high from the mountain biking or Welsh weed, but it scrubs up great on paper. And you're obviously disturbed by your past, but then who isn't? A great read!!!!

I must say I hadn't actually thought about the other meanings of "hawk", and still less about Stephen Hawking! ...

-I say, who's that man spluttering over there, Elaine?
-That man? Oh, that's just my Stephen hawking, dear.

I did think about "Mr Kipling" and "hawk", though. I mean, it would have been so much easier to write "spit", for a start. But I like to vary my language if I can, and spit, well, it's just so common, innit?

As for Mr Kipling, I could have explained that it was an ad back in the day, with a rather grand narrator's voice, a bit like Boris Johnson's, only much deeper, amid DowntonAbbeyish scenes of plush lawns and the chaps sculling out on the river, and Mr Kipling himself partaking of some tiffin with his friends on deckchairs out on those lawns - you never actually see Mr Kipling the Cakemaker, just from the back or the side, with his Panama hat, to add to the terribly English mystique of it all, offering his latest creation to his friends - and the words at the end, "Mr Kipling does make exceedingly good cakes".

Yes, I could have explained, but I thought Bugger that, if the readers are still awake, they can Google it, FFS, and I could have said No, I don't mean Rudyard Kipling either, with his Jungle Book and his "If", who had a bad time at school because they called him Rudders for short, and some people with Del Boy Trotter Diction Syndrome even called him Wudders (they can bloody well Google that one ...), which isn't even true, the bit about Rudders/Wudders, and oh, look, I'm moving into the Chris S Stream of Consciousness myself here, must be contagious.
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On the subject of mouthfuls Mar 26

Re-reading last night’s SoC, I am struck by my failure to use the more accepted term “bite-size(d)” about Mr K’s hyperglycaemia-in-plastic-pastry abominations.

But on reflection I realise my tired-and-emotional instincts were sound. Bite-sized may roll off the tongue but it is one of the worst miscarriages of language ever committed.

The defining characteristic of things known as bite-sized is surely that they are small enough to pass into one’s mouth whole, a
... See more
Re-reading last night’s SoC, I am struck by my failure to use the more accepted term “bite-size(d)” about Mr K’s hyperglycaemia-in-plastic-pastry abominations.

But on reflection I realise my tired-and-emotional instincts were sound. Bite-sized may roll off the tongue but it is one of the worst miscarriages of language ever committed.

The defining characteristic of things known as bite-sized is surely that they are small enough to pass into one’s mouth whole, as is, undivided, zero dental intervention required.

And by definition, surely everything is bite-sized if you bite little bits off?

So, my “mouthful-sized” may be, um, a bit of a mouthful, but I would posit that it is the more accurate term.

And not just for teenage boys, for whom most things can be mouthful-sized. And girls too, now I think about it, fondly.

All the more so for Mr K’s boxes of six mini apple pies, of course. They should probably come with instructions (all the rage online at the moment, I see):

1. Shove all the way in. 2. Masticate slowly. 3. Swallow. 4. Lick finger to hoover up any spillage and suck it off. 5. Fail to remove bitter aftertaste with beverage of choice.

Or maybe wash your mouth out with soap.
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