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This question was closed without grading. Reason: Answer found elsewhere
Jun 20, 2021 19:22
2 yrs ago
44 viewers *
French term

montre assez quelle inquiétude s’attachait à son lourd cheminement

French to English Art/Literary History From An Art History Book
Contexte:

L’un d’eux, par la notoriété des œuvres d’art qu’il transportait, montre assez quelle inquiétude s’attachait à son lourd cheminement.

Talking about a convoy of trucks that was transporting works of art away from French museums, so that they would not fall into the hands of the Nazis.

Merci Beaucoup,

Barbara
Proposed translations (English)
4 +1 exhibited a sense of trepidation for their precious cargo
4 +1 fairly good indication of the fear and trepidation surrounding the operation
5 shows enough the anxiety that was attached to its delicate carriage
4 shows how much anxiety that heavy transport had caused
3 +1 Made it clear how stressful it was to transport such prestigious works of art
3 heavy responsibility

Discussion

Daryo Jun 21, 2021:
I would see "lourd cheminement" as describing a heavily loaded slow moving convoy, possibly on difficult secondary roads leading to hiding places.
Barbara Cochran, MFA (asker) Jun 21, 2021:
This Is What I Have Come Up W/So Far "It was clear, because of the famous and valuable nature of the load that one of them, no. 29, was going to carry, that the journey would be onerous and nerve-wracking."

I actually decided to combine the elements of two separate sentences.
ormiston Jun 21, 2021:
Ito me 'lourd' is as in heavy responsibility And is deliberately ambiguous with the added notion of a precious load
Barbara Cochran, MFA (asker) Jun 21, 2021:
lourd cheminement I thought the above phrase might refer to the convoy's onerous, both in terms of the gravity of, and the nerve-racking nature of the drivers' mission or journey.
Barbara Cochran, MFA (asker) Jun 21, 2021:
Thank You, Katarina The author is talking about one convoy of trucks, among many, the one that was carrying the most valuable works of art, not about a person.
Katarina Peters Jun 21, 2021:
@Barbara I agree that inquiétude may also translate as nerve-racking (no w) or unnerving, besides other synonyms. Is there any other mention about this particular person, referred to as one among them?
Barbara Cochran, MFA (asker) Jun 20, 2021:
Nerve-wracking... ...is a word I would prefer to use over the more neutral options of "anxiety" or "stressful". What do you think?

Proposed translations

1 hr

shows how much anxiety that heavy transport had caused

another suggestion
Peer comment(s):
neutral Yvonne Gallagher : "heavy transport"?
13 hrs
Something went wrong...
+1
4 hrs
French term (edited): montre assez quelle inquiétude s’attachait à son lourd cheminement

exhibited a sense of trepidation for their precious cargo

my take on this literary construction

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Note added at 4 hrs (2021-06-21 00:18:06 GMT)
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well...perhaps the singular "for its precious cargo" is more appropriate on second read, if we're referring to "the convoy"
Peer comment(s):
agree Yvonne Gallagher : yes, best of what's here but I'd prefer "load" to "cargo"
9 hrs
Thanks Yvonne
neutral ormiston : Trepidation 'for' sounds odd
21 hrs
Something went wrong...
4 hrs

heavy responsibility

We would never say anything like the French in English so the entire sentence needs to be reworked.
In my answer and example sentence, you see how I have tried to keep "heavy" (lourd) but with a completely different noun (responsibility" (for "inquiétude")
The idea is to come up with an English sounding sentence but as close as possible to the semantic meaning of the French

--------------------------------------------------
Note added at 5 hrs (2021-06-21 00:52:57 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

Oops

...underlined what a heavy responsibility IT was to transport...
Example sentence:

...underlined what a heavy responsibility is was to transport...

Something went wrong...
+1
12 hrs

fairly good indication of the fear and trepidation surrounding the operation

Turn it round to bring out the true meaning

The famous/well-known artworks on board one of the trucks were a fairly good indication of the fear and trepidation surrounding the (whole) operation
Peer comment(s):
agree Nikki Scott-Despaigne : "Fairly good indication" immediately sprung to mind! Hwvr, for the second part, I'd prefer verbs to nouns, but given the impersonal phrasing, maybe not!
11 hrs
all depends on what follows. This is not a perfect answer, just an attempt to suggest a way forward that will need adapting to the overall context
Something went wrong...
13 hrs

shows enough the anxiety that was attached to its delicate carriage

Many would use "trepidation" instead of "anxiety" but trepidation directly brings in the idea of a fearful state and hesitation which are not clearly stated here. The transportation has been decided and it seems to be going on but there is a state of anxiety linked to with it because nobody knows what could possibly go wrong but they are obviously concerned.
What's more I preferred "carriage" to "transportation" because in French the original idea refers to the act of carrying and/or state of being carried (for the load) not the means.
Peer comment(s):
neutral Yvonne Gallagher : really doesn't look like natural English at all
1 hr
neutral Daryo : CL5?
15 hrs
Something went wrong...
+1
27 mins

Made it clear how stressful it was to transport such prestigious works of art

blending in the first part of your sentence....

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Note added at 16 hrs (2021-06-21 11:56:23 GMT)
--------------------------------------------------

And I like 'nerve-racking' + precious load but you've to fit in the first part of your sentence
Peer comment(s):
neutral Mac-Gustave MULONDA : Yes but I think it would be even better to convey the same idea without having to add elements the author omitted.
12 hrs
As I indicated above, I have simply included the rather awkward preceding phrase in the source text
agree Marge Hogarty : This conveys the full emotional meaning of the phrase. I like it.
23 hrs
Thank you
Something went wrong...
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